Weighed Down...

In high school I was a skinny girl. I never paid attention to what I ate, I didn't exercise (unless you count spending countless hours dancing in your room as exercise) and I most definitely took my figure for granted. I guess I never even had the thought in my head that one day I would actually have to work at losing weight. I got pregnant with Ethan when I was 23 years old....and gained 50 pounds. When I got pregnant, I still would've considered myself pretty thin...but not so much afterward. I never lost all the weight - probably all but about 12 pounds. I hated that I couldn't get rid of that weight, but then again didn't really do anything about it. Then came my pregnancy with Drew. I was already starting out 12 pounds heavier and I gained 40 pounds. Again, I didn't lose all the weight and was stuck at an ever higher weight than before. So, with my third pregnancy, I vowed not to gain a ton of weight. I did decent and only gained about 30 pounds, but started the pregnancy at my heighest weight yet. Now, most people don't look at me and think I'm overweight...but when I look at myself, I see GROSS!! You girls know what I mean. We are all so much harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be.

I can't really be mad though. I hate exercise and I love to eat - especially junk! So a couple of days ago, I decided that it's time to start taking responsibility for myself and to stop lying to myself. This weight is NOT coming off by doing nothing. This weight is NOT coming off by having dessert every night. This past Monday, I started my diet. I'm not going crazy - just a slim fast for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine and yogurt for lunch and then a normal dinner - with no seconds. And no snacks after dinner!! I have treated myself to half a Hershey bar - which is only 105 calories. I have also started doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shredd and Just Dance on the Wii with the kiddos (great workout!). I have stuck to this for four days now, which is pretty great for me. I am holding myself accountable...but you guys hold me accountable too, okay? Because I am almost 30 and the weight isn't going to get any easier to lose!

Girlfriends

I've always been the type of girl that got along better with guys. Don't get me wrong - I had girl friends in high school - just not an abundance of them. I hung out with more guys and seemed to get along better with them. For some reason the whole "girl" scene has always seemed catty to me. Girls tend to get angry over stuff that I don't generally think matters. BUT I have come to realize that even though for me having great girl relationships is rare, the ones I have are amazing. I think its important for all of us girls to have other girls in our lives - we can relate to each other better than we can relate to guys. My girlfriends always back me up, but then again they are not afraid to call me out when I may be overreacting on something. My girlfriends give me peace of mind when I feel like I'm going crazy. My girlfriends assure me that my feelings are valid. AND I laugh the hardest with these girls. So even though I've spend the majority of my life getting along better with guys (for the most part), I couldn't live without my girls. So this is a big shout out to the girls that have been there for me through whatever crisis I may be having on a certain day, have been there to remind me that other people do go through the same stuff as me, and to laugh with me. You all are very important in my life and I love ya!

Reflections

Today I look back on the last six years and it has all gone by in a whirlwind. My oldest, Ethan, was born six years ago today at 7:05pm weighing in at 8lbs 2oz (my SMALLEST baby to date). I can't believe that he is six. I can't believe that he is already in kindergarten. I can't believe that in a few short years he will probably be taller than me and I will be looking up at him. When he was born I was only 23. Wow. Not a super young age to have a baby, but when I look by at how far I've come in life since then I sometimes wonder - what was I thinking?? Don't get me wrong - Ethan was actually planned so clearly I THOUGHT I knew what I was getting myself into! But as I've gotten older and had two more babies, I find myself with more patience and trying harder to cherish the moments I have with them, as they go by so fast. I try not to be hard on myself when they sleep in my bed because there are worse things in life and I should let them be little. I've learned so much from one baby to the next, yet wouldn't change a thing that I have done with any of them. But back to Ethan...he and I are so much alike and butt heads on a daily basis. He is an amazing little boy though. It blows my mind how he catches on to things, how he remembers everything, and how much of a big helper he can be. He is the ultimate protective older brother, yet he's not too old to snuggle with mom. So Ethan, tonight on your sixth birthday, remember how much mommy loves you, that you always be the "original" baby, and that you will always be my bug!

It's the simple things in life...

Friday seemed like a particularly long day for me. It was work as usual and then my weekly trip to Walmart for groceries. I had Collin in tow, and of course he was hungry in the store, and feeding him while steering the cart is always a bit of a challenge. It seemed more crowded than usual and I had to buy to stuff for Ethan's birthday party. Anyway, I finished up at the grocery and drove home to an empty house, as the other boys were still at karate. When I got home, instead of turning on the monotony of the television, I flipped on the radio instead. This instantly put me in a better mood as I started putting away groceries and making dinner. Soon after, my boys got home. We cranked up the radio a bit more and the three of us (me, Ethan and Drew) had ourselves a dance party in the kitchen. We were laughing, singing and jumping around like crazy. Sometimes life gets hard and stressful. Sometimes you get into a rut. And sometimes doing something as simple as dancing with your children can change it all up and offer a new perspective. It cost no money and made all of us happy...it's the simple things in life that make it worth living.

Power Struggle

So for anyone who doesn't know, I am currently back in school (and have been for a year) pursuing my teaching license. I have a degree in marketing that I have never used and am hoping that I have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.

I'm in a fifth grade classroom this semester, which has been quite an adjustment from the first graders I was with last semester. My cooperating teacher has been out all week due to her husband having surgery. I had a sub with me today because IWU won't let me use sub hours to count towards my classroom hours (STUPID!). Anyway, this sub has been subbing at the school corperation for years and is pretty well known. I had written the lesson plans for the entire week. She comes in and as I am trying to explain to her what is going on for the day, she sort of pushes me out of her way and tells me that she needs to "nest" and "get settled" first. Seriously? I mean the kids are coming in at this point. She was not pleased that I wrote the lesson plan and didn't seem too pleased to find out that I would be doing the teaching for that day. So she says to me, "You can teach, but I will be in charge of the discipline." Ummm...okay. Have at it lady. I will teach and sit hear and look pretty while you tell the kids to shut up all day. She then compared me to the "teacher cadets" that come over and teach from the high school. No offense lady, but I am not in high school - I am an adult. I have kids of my own, this is not my first go round in the classroom and I'm pretty sure I could've handled it...but we'll do it your way. =)

Google Obsessed

What did we ever do without the internet and Google? Seriously, I don't know how anyone ever functioned when they had to use actual reference books to find an answer to a question. I sometimes get a little out of control with Google and use it to diagnose myself and my kids with different things (don't judge - you know you do it too!) My latest discovery is about my three year old. After a Google search I have clearly confirmed that he has ODD - Oppositional Defiant Disorder. All symptoms point to him suffering from this - or rather point to me and Dan being the ones doing the suffering. His tantrums can be totally unbearable, nothing is ever is fault, and if he doesn't want to do something he will just outright say no. ODD or typical three year old behavior? You tell me...

Celebrity Stalker

So I decided a couple of months ago that I wanted to start writing a blog in my "free time". Free time? Seriously? Well, anyway, I wanted to do this for two different reasons: 1. I have always found writing to be very theraputic. 2. I'm sort of a stalker when it comes to reading about other peoples lives. One of my favorite websites in People.com...I love gossip magazines. I have also started reading other peoples blogs that they post on facebook and thoroughly enjoy knowing that other people have the same issues as I have. So I figured if I wrote things that went on in my life, it may help others to know that they are not alone.

So here are some things about me. I am a wife. I am a mom of three little boys ages 6, 3 and 4 months. My family is my world. I work, go to school, and student teach. I love my friends - they keep me sane. I'm a very loyal person once you earn my trust. So there it is - my first ever blog. Not too exciting, but it only took me a couple of months to get one posted. Keep following...they'll get better!