In high school I was a skinny girl. I never paid attention to what I ate, I didn't exercise (unless you count spending countless hours dancing in your room as exercise) and I most definitely took my figure for granted. I guess I never even had the thought in my head that one day I would actually have to work at losing weight. I got pregnant with Ethan when I was 23 years old....and gained 50 pounds. When I got pregnant, I still would've considered myself pretty thin...but not so much afterward. I never lost all the weight - probably all but about 12 pounds. I hated that I couldn't get rid of that weight, but then again didn't really do anything about it. Then came my pregnancy with Drew. I was already starting out 12 pounds heavier and I gained 40 pounds. Again, I didn't lose all the weight and was stuck at an ever higher weight than before. So, with my third pregnancy, I vowed not to gain a ton of weight. I did decent and only gained about 30 pounds, but started the pregnancy at my heighest weight yet. Now, most people don't look at me and think I'm overweight...but when I look at myself, I see GROSS!! You girls know what I mean. We are all so much harder on ourselves than anyone else could ever be.
I can't really be mad though. I hate exercise and I love to eat - especially junk! So a couple of days ago, I decided that it's time to start taking responsibility for myself and to stop lying to myself. This weight is NOT coming off by doing nothing. This weight is NOT coming off by having dessert every night. This past Monday, I started my diet. I'm not going crazy - just a slim fast for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine and yogurt for lunch and then a normal dinner - with no seconds. And no snacks after dinner!! I have treated myself to half a Hershey bar - which is only 105 calories. I have also started doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shredd and Just Dance on the Wii with the kiddos (great workout!). I have stuck to this for four days now, which is pretty great for me. I am holding myself accountable...but you guys hold me accountable too, okay? Because I am almost 30 and the weight isn't going to get any easier to lose!
I understand more than you can know... After 2 sets of fertility treatments gaining 30lbs w/ my first pregnancy, almost 70lbs w/ my twins and 30lbs w/ my last came alot of weight. I am an emotional eater since my divorce, no where to go w/ my emotions n feelings so I eat to bury them-when Im lonely I eat to hide the pain. I look at myself and hate me- I hate how I look and think if I cant love me how could I ever expect someone to fall in love w/ me again?! :(
ReplyDeleteSadly, I am already 30 and at the bottom of another emotional spiraling out of control after losing my job 4days ago. I hope to have your strength one day of accountability for taking the weight control back. Congrats and I wish you the bestest of luck.
Tammy :)
It has been incredibly difficult for me to lose all the weight I have desired to get rid of. I lost 51 lbs after weaning Evelyn, then had a pregnancy that lasted 10 weeks. I gained 15 lbs & lost it, got pregnant with Morgan 5 months later. I only gained 16 lbs with her! Yay, right? Then, 5 months later, I got pregnant again. I lost that one at nearly 12 weeks. I gained 8 lbs, was unable to lose that, had my tubes tied, gained more weight that next winter because I had a bad case of the "winter blues". I have been fighting to lose the weight ever since... 2 years now!
ReplyDeleteThe scale isn't showing a change right now, however, my pants are! Got to be the tri-level stairs! Hoping to lose 60 lbs total over the next year, and get where I need to be! So, good luck to us both! :)